The end???

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

Winston Churchill's words on the defeat of the Germans and Italians

Egypt, October 28, 1942

The end???

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

Winston Churchill's words on the defeat of the Germans and Italians

Egypt, October 28, 1942

Points:-

A. (i) IQ : Understand apa yang sedang dibaca atau dipelajari melalui derai pemahaman...rasa...feel it...sentiment...feelings

B. EQ: Accept
(i) Things happen for a reason
(ii) Bersyukur pada apa yang yang ada / Simple as accepting things without any reason and just because you want to

C. Expectations Have no expectations for the future

Exercise...

Once in a while your mind delivers negative messages to your feelings upon discovering an out of fit body condition. Such feeling creates an uncountable amount of dismotivating pulse that vibrates deep in my inner thoughts and produces this unwanted wrath to create change in a short amount of time which is not realisable looking at the given circumstances.

As a solution, I would tell myself that I was able to make it change once a few years ago...hard work...and it shall be realized at any point of time given I have the initiative to do so.

- I knew how to restrain myself from consuming a lot of food...blocked my appetite from enraging (rasa sedap)
- I knew the right kind of exercise for the exact results I would like to appear on myself
- Aku tidak peduli apa saja asalkan dapat kurus dan fit...sanggup mati dari nampak buruk...death theory
- this method enables me to outstand the pain suffered while working over the limit that has been set upon me

Current mood: all fired up

Revelation of a new resolution...

Do it for the third time my dear, I shall leave you for eternity...forgetting all the memories and all that proofs upon your existence in my life. I have paid my dues to you...fulfilled a promise others my have relently deserted...and most of all...I have paid the biggest prize of leaving you with a child companion.

It is better to face death rather than facing it the third time...

Current mood: dissapointed but motivated

Serving job

Like the title explains, my serving job started last night at this place i got tied up with through a help from my beloved girlfriend. It wasn't a wonderful job or something that might be enjoyable for most humans to do...but it pays some cash that is very needed in times like this. As I expected, graduating from college is not as fun as one thought for it to be...for we are on our infant step towards living on our own...meaning there shall be no more funds from ma and pa unless one desires to ignore any negative impressions from them and hurdle through the unpleasant feelings that might be bulked up upon us.

Having the necessity to survive on my own not being the first time obviously made it far more distorting although i have realized that i might not be the only person in reality to experience such phenomenon. But no matter how one could perceive such matter, it will more or less still hurt ourselves. The scars shall remain detect and never would be erasable by any ornaments generated by psychologist.

But gisted but the spirit of never wanting to give up...we shall go all the way.

Discovered an exceptionally outstanding quote from the film "Black Hawk Down" that goes:
"Rangers lead the way (SSgt. Emerson)...All the way(Chain of command lieutenant)"

Current mood: Stressed out for no known reason

First job application

The main reason which elucidates my interest in seeking an employment with the "*** ******* ****** *****" is for me to gain more experience in my field of study. I feel that this organization will provide me with a good starting point in my career by offering the ability for me to explore my skills and work with other people who have extensive experience in my field of study. Last but not least, the position offered by the organization closely matches my interests and abilities hence persuading me to apply for the job position...

That's how brief a description could be on my job application form submitted to the HR office earlier today for this job position I found on a news ad. They want this and they want that...I give them both this and that...how about it...certainly felt lotsa releif after getting done with the first step in getting employed. Have been hunting for this position for almost three weeks and finally found one.

Also spoke to my previous employer last night and he gave me a serving spot at his restaurant...

Very low on cash at this point in time and need to find a source of income while looking for a real job which closely relates to my field of study.

Current mood: Happy

Kate and Leopold...

5.00 am...

Theoratically speaking..."if you go to past in the future, then your future lies in the past, and that is a picture of you in the past in the future"...

Figure that out alright...haha

Almost done with to do's...

3.29 p.m....found a spot at Grawn Computer Lab...not feeling very happy with the events that took place since the morning although I got to complete much of the requirements of my day...

Spoke to Dr. Gust my advisor at 1.15...directly went to the Dean's Office to get letters of recommendation for my job appliation...
Spoke to Nancy, the Executive Assistant to the Dean. She was really nice to me...gave me lots of information on what she could do to the best of my interest...

Headed for Anspach Hall lookin for my admired professor Dr. John Meixner but he wasn't in his office. Have to stop by later today or tomorrow morning if possible...

Quite unhappy with the outcome of my inquiries for a recommendation letter because I had to mnay assumptions in my mind feeling afraid of the much devastation that would be implied in the hearts of those who might be able to help me and also the ones who I put much respect on...but still I am trying my best not to think of the negative aspect of my ventures and move forward bravely...

In addition, I did not get enough sleep but that couldn't be a contributing factor. My emotions are the main reason why such unwanted feelings exists in me...simply because I portray them to be the way they are not supposed to be...

Will work harder on this matter...